The Narcofod

It seems getting a combine was a bit of a mistake. I thought it would speed up the harvest of my backyard wheat.

But it’s big.  It’s r-e-a-l-l-y big.  I can’t get it through the backyard gate.  It’s sitting out along the street right now.  I’m bound to get a ticket.  It’s so wide it sticks way out in the street.  I don’t have any red flags, so I just stuck a bunch of tomatoes on some sticks that jut out — hopefully so people can see it.  Store-bought tomatoes.  My garden isn’t that far along.

Even if I get the combine in the backyard, it’ll be a tight fit.  I really had no idea it would be so big.  The good news is that I’ll be able to do the whole field in one pass — maybe a 10-second ride before I reach the tangerine tree at the end — and then I’ll have to be careful not to behead myself on the low limbs.

But there’s no way I’ll be able to turn it around.  Do combines have a reverse?  I hope so.

Then again, maybe I should just talk to the dealer, see if I can return it.  This is turning into a whole lot more work than I anticipated.